Just because everyone else is doing it…

So I am interrupting my 30-day blog challenge for a little story. I don’t want to get backed up and then have tons of stories that I can’t wait to share — I might publish them all in one day then. Plus, I promised that I would occasionally take some breaks with the old challenge then and I am a gal who likes to keep her word.

Yesterday I wrote a post on my column for Get2know.me about text dating. If you have been with me throughout me years of blogging, you know it’s something I have touched on here and there. And you also know it’s something I find annoying.

Let me just say that I am the worst phone person. I mean, I literally taught my mom how to text just so we could. Though in my defense I didn’t do it so we couldn’t talk on the phone. I actually did it so we could keep in touch more. We work opposite schedules and sometimes I just want to check on her (and she likes to check on me too). The point is, I am the worst phone person ever but I still understand the value in talking on the phone.

Especially with dating. Create

Anyway, I am going off on a tangent here and you can read about how I feel about all of that over on my column.

Now, if you know me you know that most of my columns and blogs are inspired by things that happen to me in real life. This one was no different.

A couple of weeks ago, a guy sent me a message on OkCupid. I sent him one back and then he replied by giving me his number and telling me to text him. I told him if he wanted to text we could just keep sending messages and we could exchange numbers to talk on the phone.

He told me that it’s never been a problem for him in the past and if I was cool then I would just text him. And honestly that kind of sent me over the edge. I mean, not only is the guy being lame but he’s also basically telling me that I should just suck it up because everyone else is fine with it. This is something that I can’t get on board with.

First, I am not buying that no other woman has ever had an issue with giving their number out just to text. Most women I know (and plenty of men) find it just as annoying. Second, are we really going into the thing where you should do it because all the other women do it? I mean, am I the only one that thinks that seems a little skeezy?

I mean, I don’t want to sound like a lunatic here but if I say I don’t do something or don’t want to do something then shouldn’t that be respected? This whole idea of trying to convince someone to do something because everyone else is doing it is wrong and annoying in any situation.

Honestly, it shouldn’t really matter what other women have done. You can’t expect the same thing from every single woman you meet (and I am pretty sure I can write a whole other post on that). So kudos to you and all your other ladies, but frankly I don’t really care.

If you are going to date then put some effort into it. Really.

As for the guy, I just simply told him that I don’t give out me number to text. He responded with “K” and I never heard from him again.

Yeah, that’s a whole lot of effort right there. I don’t expect a guy to jump through hoops for me and I am not a princess but really, is asking a guy to call me really asking that much?

6 comments on “Just because everyone else is doing it…

  1. What is up with dating via technology AT ALL?? Excuse me, but I'm not even into dating via e-mail. Or via phone. If it looks like we might have things in common, and we don't hate each other's profile pics, get drinks! Coffee! Anything in person – I can't possibly know if things'll click until I meet you face to face!

    Furthermore? I am right there with you. I've had enough dudes who didn't know how to stop texting/calling to know that I do NOT give my number out readily. Usually it's only after a date has been set up for emergency purposes only – or if I've met you in real life. Otherwise? Forget it. Good riddance.

  2. I'm so with you on this !!!
    WTF is up with text-dating ? I don't get it – it's so .. I don't know .. I'm 13 years old and it's cheaper to text than to talk sorta thing !!
    This man who kept texting me (and my two word responses obviously didn't give him enough of a hint) finally succumbed to calling me 'cos I told him I just couldn't be bothered … he was so BORING on the phone it's unbelievable. I've come to the conclusion that guys and girls who lack verbal communication skills are the ones who will text the most because they aren't capable of having one-on-one conversation in real time (the texting gives them a few minutes of thinking time)
    Maybe I'm being mean – but I hate texting – it's quicker to just spend 2 mins on the phone instead of sending 10 texts to get to the point of something.

  3. @Diva– I am so glad I am not the only one! I admit that I have grown far too guilty of it and just letting it slide. But I am going to stop. With my friends and stuff I don't mind, unless it's something that takes a lot of explaining. It's just when you are getting to know someone — sheesh, pick up the phone already. I mean wouldn't you think they would want to talk too? And, you might be right maybe it is a lack of communication skills so they use text as a way to "make an effort." It's so not an effort though!

  4. @Nikki — I don't mind a few conversations via email and such at first, but eventually you have to move off of that. I also kind of like a phone conversation before meeting someone from the internet. But I totally agree, you can't know anything until a face to face. I just can't believe that this is what dating is coming to. It's so impersonal.

  5. Dead on, Jess! Endless texting/emailing is so exhausting. And it's totally a trap that I have fallen into. Everybody is just so damn charming when they have hours to formulate a response. You just end up building up the anticipation for Mr. Amazing Texter. In real life….turns out he smells funny, has no manners, and can't maintain eye contact….let alone a conversation.

    Keep fighting the good fight….

    xx MissMatch LA
    http://missmatchla.tumblr.com/

  6. Thanks @MissMatchLA! I, too, have fallen in that trap. You think he's all cute and then in person it takes him an hour to think of anything clever. And the opposite can also be true — over text he sounds like a dud but he's amazing in person. You just can't get a good read on a person via text.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>