You know that moment where you meet someone really great and start to realize that you like them. Then, the fear creeps in and you start to get afraid they don’t like you back. And then comes the madness.
We’ve all been there and it makes sense why this happens -- we want to be liked (especially by someone who we like). And it’s only natural that once all the liking starts, we start to get afraid so we want to look for reassurance. We want the fear to go away.
So what do you do?
Well, lots of people turn to Google or magazines and try to find the latest article that tells the 10 sure fire signs he’s into you. Others do things like posting his text messages on a website for others to analyze. And some just freak out on him for something really stupid all because you were looking for clues and signs that he liked you.
This is what I like to call the crazy. And I think all the Googling, reading articles, and letting others over analyze for you just makes the crazy that much worse.
Seriously. Think about it. You’re trying to be rational about things, but then you read an article or someone’s comment. And it tells you the opposite of what you want to hear. That makes the fear even stronger and the crazy even stronger too.
It’s exhausting and it’s madness. So what should you really do?
Well, first, keep the crazy in check. Realize that it’s normal to have this fear, but letting it turn you into a mad woman (or man) isn’t normal and it’s not OK. Second, take a deep breath and just give things a little while to see how it all works out.
Really. I know that's not fun and frankly it sucks, but news flash -- there really are no sure fire ways to tell what a person feels about anything, much less how they feel about you after a first date (or a second date or a third date and so on). You don’t need to act like a crazy person to figure any of that out. That’s all part of getting to know them. And it’s all a part of dating.
The fact of the matter is, if a guy (or gal) likes you he (or she) will call you. You will go out again. You’ll meet each other’s friends. You’ll be something. And all of this will happen in time. So just give it them time to make it happen.
And I am not saying that you should wait around for him to call. This isn't that kind of post and we all know that I believe if you're interested, you should go right ahead and show it. I am just saying stop driving yourself crazy looking for all these signs. If you’re too busy trying to dissect every second of the date, you’re probably missing out on what’s actually happening between the two of you. Pay attention to what's really happening and give it a little time to see how it all works out.
I’ve said it once and I will say it again (and I actually founded a whole website on the idea) -- there is no formula for dating. Sometimes it’s a+b=c but sometimes it’s a+b=g or p or 2. Sometimes you have to add in another letter or carry a number. Stop trying to look for the formula and all the answers. Instead look around at what’s actually happening. You just might find what you’re looking for.