Check Out Modern Dating: A Field Guide by HowAboutWe (Sponsored Post)

As someone who has written about dating for almost four years, I have read a lot of books about dating. But the list of those I find entertaining and relatable is really small. Well, this past weekend I was able to read one that I can say I would gladly add to that list.

From HowAboutWe comes the new book, MODERN DATING: A Field Guide. Written by Chiara Atik with a forward HowAboutWe co-founders Brian Schechter and Aaron Schildkrout, Modern Dating, like Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl 60s manifesto, heralds an entirely new dating era where the world of modern relationships is as flexible and confusing as ever.

Not sure when to text after a date? Trying to find the right online dating profile picture? Found out that the guy you really like is terrible in bed? MODERN DATING is an encouraging, and practical resource for women at all stages of the dating game. Whether you’re single and looking to sow some wild oats, casually dating, or really ready to find a serious relationship, the tips, anecdotes, and stories will help ease the frustrations of dating.

As a reader, you’ll discover:

• Seventy out-of-the-box date ideas.
• A fascinating infograph on the evolution of dating from the 1100s to present—do you know what era condoms first existed and what they were made of? Or the era that ushered in the phrases “going steady” and “long term”?
• Expert advice from Hanna Rosin (Author of “The End of Men”), Katie Heaney (Editor at Buzzfeed, Author of “Never Have I Ever”), Leandra Medine of ManRepeller.com, Lauren Leto (Founder, Texts from Last Night, author “Judging a Book By Its Lover”), and Claire Cavanaugh, founder of Babeland.
• Funny and useful flowcharts, such as “Can We Be Friends With Benefits?” and “Should I Ask Him Out?"

Out of those discoveries, here are a few of my faves:

• The book is as the title promises – a book about modern dating. It’s not a how to get a man in eight easy steps kind of thing. It even goes into detail about friends with benefits and everything you need to know about it (including a flow chart on if you can be friends with benefits). There is even a section about sexting and sending dignified naked pictures. I seriously think this book covers pretty much any situation you might tackle when dating.
• It talks about how important dating is and not just dating to find a husband, but dating. I’ve always been on board with that thinking. Dating can help you figure out what you want and learn things about yourself.
• The one-date rule the book talks about -- the idea that you should go on at least one date with anyone who asks. I know it might seem crazy, but I have always been a firm believer in that because you just never know. And seriously, it’s just one date. No one ever died from going on a date with a guy they weren’t sure about or if the date ended in some tragic way. Trust me, if they did I would have died a long time ago.

Clearly I think the book is worth a read. I kind of wish there had been a book like this when I was single. Seriously, check it out folks. And if my glowing review isn’t enough to convince you, you’ll also get three months free on online dating site howaboutwe.com with purchase of Modern Dating: A Field Guide—a $54 value! To redeem this offer click here.

How to Go From Mustache Stirrers to Marriage

Yes, I’ve slacked a little on posting. But, as always, it’s for a really good reason. I have some really big news here. And if we’re pals on Facebook or you follow me on Twitter you probably already know what I’m about to say. I’m engaged!

Here’s how it all happened:

A couple of weeks ago Mr. T and I were hanging out. We were enjoying a tasty beverage with some Jack From Brooklyn (more on that later) and just having a quiet night at my place. For some reason, we randomly decided to class things up a bit and use my lip and mustache stirrers.

He decided they would also make an awesome idea for a friend’s bachelor party and turned to Google to find where he could get some (I bought mine at target and they don’t have them anymore and clearly I can’t let him have mine). He ended up finding a whole lot of other mustache things which led to a conversation about how various mustache things would be pretty hilarious at our wedding.

The whole marriage and wedding thing wasn’t really a foreign topic for us. We’ve talked about the hard questions already since we wanted to be sure we were both on the same page. And, we’ve occasionally talked about how the whole wedding thing could/would possibly happen.

Anyway, the talk of various mustache things led us to talk about more wedding things which somehow led to setting a date for fall 2014. The next morning, we continued the conversation and felt this was something we really wanted. It no longer seemed like a “what if” kind of thing – this was legit. We told our families and closest friends and started really planning and thinking about when and where. But we didn’t make it completely officially official because he really wanted to propose.

And on Tuesday night that’s exactly what he did.

We went to dinner with one of his best friends and then headed to his (our) local for a drink after.  One of the best parts about this place is the fact that the bartender also does magic. And, this place and all the magic stuff is kind of a thing for us. One of our early dates was there -- with magic and karaoke. We also spent many Saturday afternoons and nights there since we first started dating during football season. It’s also the first place I met his best friend and where we first said I love you. Yep, there’s some stuff there.

The place wasn’t that busy so they asked the bartender to do some magic. He started with a card trick and then followed with a trick with a cup and a little red ball. He made the ball disappear and reappear. Then, instead of the red ball, he made two limes appear under the cup. I still don’t know how all that happens and it still amazes me.

Then he made a plum appear under the cup. He turned the plum a little and there was the ring. Mr. T took the ring, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.

Of course I said yes and there were lots of claps and cheers. And later that night we toasted to marriage with PBRs. Seriously, I adore this man.

I’m still swooning a little and I’m ridiculously happy. And I am really excited to marry him.

Most amazing picture of the ring ever (it pays to know photographers). However, you can't tell the color of the stone. It's purple, but changes from blue, teal, purple, or kind of a combination of all depending on the light.

(And I know you’re all probably wondering what will happen to the blog now. Don’t worry, this isn’t the end. So stay tuned for a blog post in the coming weeks about all of that)

Who is Better At Throwing Out The Checklist?

I've never been a fan of checklists. In fact, I actually kind of hate them. So I've never really been the gal to have one. But I know a lot of people who do. And when writing an article about checklists over on We Love Dates, a reader commented that women are better at throwing out the checklist than men.

I found this to be super interesting because I actually think men are far less likely to even have a checklist in the first place. So my curiosities made me decide to do a poll. Head on over to We Love Dates to check out the article and vote.

Hair Removal By Nair: Get Smooth For Summer In Three Simple Steps (Sponsored Post)

I’ve been a fan of Nair for as long as I can remember. Shaving is OK sometimes, but Nair just lasts longer and I love the way my legs feel after using it – so soft and smooth. So obviously when I was asked to join the Get Smooth For Summer campaign, I jumped on board.  I mean, with summer around the corner, that means it’s time for bikinis, short shorts and overall, showing off more skin. Nair products provide professional results at home for staying smooth all summer long – at a fraction of what you’d pay at a salon.

The Brazilian Spa Clay Total Care Body Trio and Face Trio are the new depilatories to join the popular Brazilian Spa Clay Line inspired by the beauty secrets and hair removal expertise of Brazil. Each product is infused with mango butter and açai berry known to moisturize the skin, and mineral-rich clay known to purify the skin.

I was able to try both products and I am in heaven.  And I am not just saying that, I really am. When I first put it on my legs it felt really cool and almost like it was some sort of mask. There was also no burning or itching and it smelled really nice – way better than a lot of other products I’ve used. It was also so easy to put on since they include a sponge and this awesome plastic spatula-like tool. After removal, my skin felt soft and smooth and still there was no burning or itching.

I think part of it is that there is a whole process rather than just slapping some cream on your skin.  Nair Brazilian Spa Clay Shower Total Care™ Body Trio is the only 3-step in-shower depilatory system, including the convenient Nair Shower Power® technology that works while you shower. The suggested retail price is $13.99.

And don’t be thrown by the word process, it’s just three easy steps:

Step 1: The pre-wipe contains mineral oil and chamomile to prepare your skin before removing hair.

Step 2: Apply the depilatory, which is resistant to water through emollients similar to those found in waterproof sunscreens so it will resist runoff while you shower. Keep the area out of the direct stream of water.

Step 3: After the hair is removed, apply soothing post-use gel with Aloe Vera for a perfect finish.

The Nair Brazilian Spa Clay Total Care™ Face Trio is the first 3-step depilatory for the face with a suggested retail price of $13.99. And I had the same awesome experience with it (I am notorious for burning my face when using products).

Again, it uses really simple steps:

Step 1: The first step is the pre-balm, which coats the skin to help minimize irritation and redness

Step 2: The second step is the depilatory. There’s no drying time so you can apply the depilatory immediately after using the pre-balm.

 Step 3: After removing the depilatory product, apply the moisturizer, which is similar to a typical facial moisturizer. This will help neutralize the pH of the skin, bringing it back to the normal level.

Think it sounds too good to be true? I assure you it’s not. Go see yourself by clicking here to learn more about Nair's full line of summer hair removal products.

Put This on Your List: Coney Island

It’s time for the very first Put This on Your List. And I know it might seem a little corny to say Coney Island, but seriously I had so much fun there. For a former Midwestern gal, it’s kind of like the state fair only there is also beach and ocean (and of course, NYC prices).You can play games and win prizes (or a whole family of prizes).

You can play games and win prizes (or a whole family of prizes).

You can eat a whole lot of junk food for lunch.

You can end the day with Italian Ice (or ice cream like Mr. T did).

You can also buy an awesome new pair of sunglasses.

The thing that I liked the most about it was it was super easy to get to, but it kind of felt like a mini vacation (in the form of a day trip). You kind of don’t realize the city is just a few subway stops away. So if you’re a New Yorker who has never been, go. If you’ve been, go again. And, if you live someplace else and make a trip here definitely put it on your list.

Mr. (Or Miss) Just Not Quite Right

Breaking up sucks. I am pretty sure I have written that a time or two on this blog (and in other articles). But really, it does. It doesn’t matter if you’re the breaker or the breakee; it sucks. And it really sucks when you have that feeling that it's just not quite right.

I think it tends to be a little easier when you don’t click or want totally different things in life or when the person is just a plain old crazy douche bag. It gives you a solid reason as to why things could never work. And it makes you feel good (and confident) about your decision.

But sometimes none of those things exist and you really don’t have a concrete reason. You just know that something’s not quite right and you know that you don’t see a future with this person. And that’s when things get tricky.

At first you probably convince yourself that maybe you just need to give it more time or maybe he/she should just meet your friends and then you’ll change your mind. Maybe you'll learn to like them more over time. Then you probably go through a stage where you think it’s you. Maybe you’re afraid of commitment. Maybe you’re being too quick to judge.  Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

The honest truth is sometimes a person is a perfectly upstanding human being.  They’re nice and funny and you don’t have an awful time with them. But there is just something about them or the way you are together that doesn’t make them quite right for you. And it’s OK to end things when there is nothing obviously "wrong" with the person.

Let’s all take a moment to be honest here -- it takes a lot more to like a person than them just being nice. And it surely takes more than that to want something substantial with them. There are many factors that go into that kind of thing and relationships are a big deal. It's OK if you're not feeling it and it's OK if you can’t quite put your finger on it. The fact is sometimes people just don’t click and there’s no concrete explanation for it.

If I've learned one thing from my relationship with Mr. T, it's what it's like to feel like you click with someone. To be sure of someone and something. I know I want to be with him. I get excited when I have a date with him or even when he texts me. I don't know how this will all pan out, but I know I want to be with him for the foreseeable future. And I think those kinds of things are important when you're with someone.

I know that in the beginning, it's normal to be unsure and explore things. I also know that ending things can be incredibly hard; especially when you're ending things with someone who is a genuinely decent human being. I also don’t think we should get too obsessed with sparks and connections. This isn’t some sort of fairytale thing.

But the truth is there comes a time when you know what you want or don't want. And if your gut is telling you something isn’t right it probably isn’t and you don’t need to mull over it for weeks and weeks to create this grand explanation. It is what it is. And, frankly, sticking around is unfair to everyone involved.

Sometimes breaking it off is actually the nice thing to do. It might not seem like it at the time- to them or to you. But you’re giving them a chance to go out and find someone who is really sure about them. Someone who knows they want to be with them. How can that ever be a bad thing?