Jess Downey

Jess Downey is a freelance writer, blogger, and online columnist who lives in Brooklyn, NY. 

What Happens Now?

This totally isn't goodbye. Just the start of something even more awesome.

This totally isn't goodbye. Just the start of something even more awesome.

So clearly with my awesome news comes the big question – what happens now?

I’ve been a dating blogger for nearly four years. Through those years people have always asked me “what happens when you meet someone.” I never really had a clear cut answer because I didn’t really know and I always just figured I would handle it when/if that happened. And, truth be told, I wasn’t sure if that would happen so I figured why worry about it until it actually did.

Well now it’s happened.

I started blogging because I had something to say and I loved to write. I didn’t really set out to become a dating blogger, but sort of fell into it because I had a lot of crazy/fun stories to share and it fit my style of writing. And I’ve loved every minute of it.

Through the years blogging has been a huge part of my life. It’s helped me to meet many wonderful people and also played a big role in my decision to move to NYC. It’s also helped me to grow as a writer (and land a few wonderful writing gigs).

The point of my babbling is that I don’t want to stop blogging and it seems really silly to give it all up. I don’t want that and Mr. T doesn’t either. He’s incredibly supportive of my blogging and writing (another reason I totally adore that man).

But obviously I know that it will be difficult (OK, OK probably impossible) to go on as a dating blogger. As one friend said to me on Twitter on the night of my engagement, I am now the worst singles blogger ever. And clearly Not What I Ordered isn’t really a fitting title anymore.

So, this will be my last post on Not What I Ordered and I have started a new blog called Last Call which is where I will be posting from now on. If you’re a fellow blogger who has been so fabulous to include me on your blog roll or favorites I ask that you change to reflect the new blog.  Just replace everything with Last Call and the new link ( And of course update any kind of feeds and such so you’ll be alerted when I post on the new blog.)

I chose to start a new blog in order to leave Not What I Ordered as is. There are a lot of links to my blog out there and I don’t want to mess any of that up. And I really just want to keep Not What I Ordered so it can stay what it is – an account of my life as a single woman. It’s important to me to sort of preserve that. It was a significant time in my life.

I don’t want to totally abandon the whole dating and relationships thing – it just can’t be the focus of my blog anymore. Last Call will be more of a lifestyle blog. Relationships and dating will come in there from time to time. So will things about wedding planning and such. And I can guarantee that I will have a lot to say about the transition I’m making. But overall, the theme will be life and all the things that happen while you’re living it.

Also, as a side note, you’ll also be able to read all of my articles about dating advice over on We Love Dates. I promise to be better at positing them on the new blog. I also tweet them and post them regularly to Facebook so look for them there.

It’s my hope to continue to inspire women – single or not. It’s also my hope that all of my loyal readers will continue with me during the next phase of my life. I’ve enjoyed answering questions/interacting with everyone over the years and definitely want to continue to do so.

How to Go From Mustache Stirrers to Marriage

Yes, I’ve slacked a little on posting. But, as always, it’s for a really good reason. I have some really big news here. And if we’re pals on Facebook or you follow me on Twitter you probably already know what I’m about to say. I’m engaged!

Here’s how it all happened:

A couple of weeks ago Mr. T and I were hanging out. We were enjoying a tasty beverage with some Jack From Brooklyn (more on that later) and just having a quiet night at my place. For some reason, we randomly decided to class things up a bit and use my lip and mustache stirrers.


He decided they would also make an awesome idea for a friend’s bachelor party and turned to Google to find where he could get some (I bought mine at target and they don’t have them anymore and clearly I can’t let him have mine). He ended up finding a whole lot of other mustache things which led to a conversation about how various mustache things would be pretty hilarious at our wedding.

The whole marriage and wedding thing wasn’t really a foreign topic for us. We’ve talked about the hard questions already since we wanted to be sure we were both on the same page. And, we’ve occasionally talked about how the whole wedding thing could/would possibly happen.

Anyway, the talk of various mustache things led us to talk about more wedding things which somehow led to setting a date for fall 2014. The next morning, we continued the conversation and felt this was something we really wanted. It no longer seemed like a “what if” kind of thing – this was legit. We told our families and closest friends and started really planning and thinking about when and where. But we didn’t make it completely officially official because he really wanted to propose.

And on Tuesday night that’s exactly what he did.

We went to dinner with one of his best friends and then headed to his (our) local for a drink after.  One of the best parts about this place is the fact that the bartender also does magic. And, this place and all the magic stuff is kind of a thing for us. One of our early dates was there -- with magic and karaoke. We also spent many Saturday afternoons and nights there since we first started dating during football season. It’s also the first place I met his best friend and where we first said I love you. Yep, there’s some stuff there.

The place wasn’t that busy so they asked the bartender to do some magic. He started with a card trick and then followed with a trick with a cup and a little red ball. He made the ball disappear and reappear. Then, instead of the red ball, he made two limes appear under the cup. I still don’t know how all that happens and it still amazes me.

Then he made a plum appear under the cup. He turned the plum a little and there was the ring. Mr. T took the ring, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.

Of course I said yes and there were lots of claps and cheers. And later that night we toasted to marriage with PBRs. Seriously, I adore this man.


I’m still swooning a little and I’m ridiculously happy. And I am really excited to marry him.

The Ring.jpg

Most amazing picture of the ring ever (it pays to know photographers). However, you can't tell the color of the stone. It's purple, but changes from blue, teal, purple, or kind of a combination of all depending on the light.

(And I know you’re all probably wondering what will happen to the blog now. Don’t worry, this isn’t the end. So stay tuned for a blog post in the coming weeks about all of that)

Who is Better At Throwing Out The Checklist?

I've never been a fan of checklists. In fact, I actually kind of hate them. So I've never really been the gal to have one. But I know a lot of people who do. And when writing an article about checklists over on We Love Dates, a reader commented that women are better at throwing out the checklist than men.

I found this to be super interesting because I actually think men are far less likely to even have a checklist in the first place. So my curiosities made me decide to do a poll. Head on over to We Love Dates to check out the article and vote.

Hair Removal By Nair: Get Smooth For Summer In Three Simple Steps (Sponsored Post)

I’ve been a fan of Nair for as long as I can remember. Shaving is OK sometimes, but Nair just lasts longer and I love the way my legs feel after using it – so soft and smooth. So obviously when I was asked to join the Get Smooth For Summer campaign, I jumped on board.  I mean, with summer around the corner, that means it’s time for bikinis, short shorts and overall, showing off more skin. Nair products provide professional results at home for staying smooth all summer long – at a fraction of what you’d pay at a salon.

The Brazilian Spa Clay Total Care Body Trio and Face Trio are the new depilatories to join the popular Brazilian Spa Clay Line inspired by the beauty secrets and hair removal expertise of Brazil. Each product is infused with mango butter and açai berry known to moisturize the skin, and mineral-rich clay known to purify the skin.

I was able to try both products and I am in heaven.  And I am not just saying that, I really am. When I first put it on my legs it felt really cool and almost like it was some sort of mask. There was also no burning or itching and it smelled really nice – way better than a lot of other products I’ve used. It was also so easy to put on since they include a sponge and this awesome plastic spatula-like tool. After removal, my skin felt soft and smooth and still there was no burning or itching.

I think part of it is that there is a whole process rather than just slapping some cream on your skin.  Nair Brazilian Spa Clay Shower Total Care™ Body Trio is the only 3-step in-shower depilatory system, including the convenient Nair Shower Power® technology that works while you shower. The suggested retail price is $13.99.

And don’t be thrown by the word process, it’s just three easy steps:

Step 1: The pre-wipe contains mineral oil and chamomile to prepare your skin before removing hair.

Step 2: Apply the depilatory, which is resistant to water through emollients similar to those found in waterproof sunscreens so it will resist runoff while you shower. Keep the area out of the direct stream of water.

Step 3: After the hair is removed, apply soothing post-use gel with Aloe Vera for a perfect finish.

The Nair Brazilian Spa Clay Total Care™ Face Trio is the first 3-step depilatory for the face with a suggested retail price of $13.99. And I had the same awesome experience with it (I am notorious for burning my face when using products).

Again, it uses really simple steps:

Step 1: The first step is the pre-balm, which coats the skin to help minimize irritation and redness

Step 2: The second step is the depilatory. There’s no drying time so you can apply the depilatory immediately after using the pre-balm.

 Step 3: After removing the depilatory product, apply the moisturizer, which is similar to a typical facial moisturizer. This will help neutralize the pH of the skin, bringing it back to the normal level.

Think it sounds too good to be true? I assure you it’s not. Go see yourself by clicking here to learn more about Nair's full line of summer hair removal products.

Put This on Your List: Coney Island

It’s time for the very first Put This on Your List. And I know it might seem a little corny to say Coney Island, but seriously I had so much fun there. For a former Midwestern gal, it’s kind of like the state fair only there is also beach and ocean (and of course, NYC prices).You can play games and win prizes (or a whole family of prizes).


You can play games and win prizes (or a whole family of prizes).


You can eat a whole lot of junk food for lunch.


You can end the day with Italian Ice (or ice cream like Mr. T did).


You can also buy an awesome new pair of sunglasses.


The thing that I liked the most about it was it was super easy to get to, but it kind of felt like a mini vacation (in the form of a day trip). You kind of don’t realize the city is just a few subway stops away. So if you’re a New Yorker who has never been, go. If you’ve been, go again. And, if you live someplace else and make a trip here definitely put it on your list.