What Happens Now?

This totally isn't goodbye. Just the start of something even more awesome.

So clearly with my awesome news comes the big question – what happens now?

I’ve been a dating blogger for nearly four years. Through those years people have always asked me “what happens when you meet someone.” I never really had a clear cut answer because I didn’t really know and I always just figured I would handle it when/if that happened. And, truth be told, I wasn’t sure if that would happen so I figured why worry about it until it actually did.

Well now it’s happened.

I started blogging because I had something to say and I loved to write. I didn’t really set out to become a dating blogger, but sort of fell into it because I had a lot of crazy/fun stories to share and it fit my style of writing. And I’ve loved every minute of it.

Through the years blogging has been a huge part of my life. It’s helped me to meet many wonderful people and also played a big role in my decision to move to NYC. It’s also helped me to grow as a writer (and land a few wonderful writing gigs).

The point of my babbling is that I don’t want to stop blogging and it seems really silly to give it all up. I don’t want that and Mr. T doesn’t either. He’s incredibly supportive of my blogging and writing (another reason I totally adore that man).

But obviously I know that it will be difficult (OK, OK probably impossible) to go on as a dating blogger. As one friend said to me on Twitter on the night of my engagement, I am now the worst singles blogger ever. And clearly Not What I Ordered isn’t really a fitting title anymore.

So, this will be my last post on Not What I Ordered and I have started a new blog called Last Call which is where I will be posting from now on. If you’re a fellow blogger who has been so fabulous to include me on your blog roll or favorites I ask that you change to reflect the new blog.  Just replace everything with Last Call and the new link (http://lastcallblog.com/). And of course update any kind of feeds and such so you’ll be alerted when I post on the new blog.)

I chose to start a new blog in order to leave Not What I Ordered as is. There are a lot of links to my blog out there and I don’t want to mess any of that up. And I really just want to keep Not What I Ordered so it can stay what it is – an account of my life as a single woman. It’s important to me to sort of preserve that. It was a significant time in my life.

I don’t want to totally abandon the whole dating and relationships thing – it just can’t be the focus of my blog anymore. Last Call will be more of a lifestyle blog. Relationships and dating will come in there from time to time. So will things about wedding planning and such. And I can guarantee that I will have a lot to say about the transition I’m making. But overall, the theme will be life and all the things that happen while you’re living it.

Also, as a side note, you’ll also be able to read all of my articles about dating advice over on We Love Dates. I promise to be better at positing them on the new blog. I also tweet them and post them regularly to Facebook so look for them there.

It’s my hope to continue to inspire women – single or not. It’s also my hope that all of my loyal readers will continue with me during the next phase of my life. I’ve enjoyed answering questions/interacting with everyone over the years and definitely want to continue to do so.

How to Go From Mustache Stirrers to Marriage

Yes, I’ve slacked a little on posting. But, as always, it’s for a really good reason. I have some really big news here. And if we’re pals on Facebook or you follow me on Twitter you probably already know what I’m about to say. I’m engaged!

Here’s how it all happened:

A couple of weeks ago Mr. T and I were hanging out. We were enjoying a tasty beverage with some Jack From Brooklyn (more on that later) and just having a quiet night at my place. For some reason, we randomly decided to class things up a bit and use my lip and mustache stirrers.

He decided they would also make an awesome idea for a friend’s bachelor party and turned to Google to find where he could get some (I bought mine at target and they don’t have them anymore and clearly I can’t let him have mine). He ended up finding a whole lot of other mustache things which led to a conversation about how various mustache things would be pretty hilarious at our wedding.

The whole marriage and wedding thing wasn’t really a foreign topic for us. We’ve talked about the hard questions already since we wanted to be sure we were both on the same page. And, we’ve occasionally talked about how the whole wedding thing could/would possibly happen.

Anyway, the talk of various mustache things led us to talk about more wedding things which somehow led to setting a date for fall 2014. The next morning, we continued the conversation and felt this was something we really wanted. It no longer seemed like a “what if” kind of thing – this was legit. We told our families and closest friends and started really planning and thinking about when and where. But we didn’t make it completely officially official because he really wanted to propose.

And on Tuesday night that’s exactly what he did.

We went to dinner with one of his best friends and then headed to his (our) local for a drink after.  One of the best parts about this place is the fact that the bartender also does magic. And, this place and all the magic stuff is kind of a thing for us. One of our early dates was there -- with magic and karaoke. We also spent many Saturday afternoons and nights there since we first started dating during football season. It’s also the first place I met his best friend and where we first said I love you. Yep, there’s some stuff there.

The place wasn’t that busy so they asked the bartender to do some magic. He started with a card trick and then followed with a trick with a cup and a little red ball. He made the ball disappear and reappear. Then, instead of the red ball, he made two limes appear under the cup. I still don’t know how all that happens and it still amazes me.

Then he made a plum appear under the cup. He turned the plum a little and there was the ring. Mr. T took the ring, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.

Of course I said yes and there were lots of claps and cheers. And later that night we toasted to marriage with PBRs. Seriously, I adore this man.

I’m still swooning a little and I’m ridiculously happy. And I am really excited to marry him.

Most amazing picture of the ring ever (it pays to know photographers). However, you can't tell the color of the stone. It's purple, but changes from blue, teal, purple, or kind of a combination of all depending on the light.

(And I know you’re all probably wondering what will happen to the blog now. Don’t worry, this isn’t the end. So stay tuned for a blog post in the coming weeks about all of that)

Woman calls off wedding and refuses to return the ring

The other day I stumbled on an interesting article on Powder Room Talk which talked about what you should do with the ring when calling off an engagement. The article stemmed from a news story about t a woman, named Colette Dipierro from Staten Island, who refused to return a $17,500 ring to her ex-fiance after calling off the wedding.

The couple was only engaged for four months. At the time that Dipierro accepted the ring she admits to having doubts but felt pressures from society. Apparently her doubts became too much because she called off the wedding and now won't give the ring back. She claims it's because they lived together and he owes money for rent and other living expenses. Though she's been engaged before and upon calling off things off that time, she returned the ring. Pretty interesting, if I do say so myself.

Apparently to get all technical and legal here this whole engagement ring thing is considered a contract. So if you call it off you are supposed to return the ring.

Many people consider the things you were given throughout a relationship to be gifts. Who returns gifts? And yes, there are the occasional things left behind by a significant other that are often never returned. You know movies, clothes and the like.

Here's the thing though, I think an engagement ring is a totally different thing - especially when it cost a whomping $17,500.

Honestly, in my opinion, I think the ring should be returned for a few different reasons.

It's a pretty hefty chunk of change. The man clears out half his life savings to buy you a ring only to have you accept it and then months later call it all off. Now all he is left with is $17,500 that he will never see again. That doesn't seem right to me (especially in a case where you accepted the ring when you weren't completely sure if you actually wanted to marry the guy).

The ring no longer means anything. Sure maybe there's those memories of when you were a happy couple but that is what pictures are for. There is a reason you are ending it, so do you really need a constant reminder anyway?

What purpose does keeping it really serve? Why do you really need to keep the ring? I mean really, are you going to actually wear it? What do you really plan on doing with it? 

Now clearly there are exceptions, like if the guy cheats. Then I guess you can keep it and put it to better use (like pawning it to buy new shoes).