Jewelry of Boyfriends Past

For those of you that don’t know, I write a little “column” called Fail to Fab over on the eFlirt expert blog. It’s basically where I take all of my failed dates and talk about how to turn them into something much more fabulous.

The other day, I wrote about a huge Valentine’s Day gift fail where my boyfriend of two whole weeks bought me diamond earrings. I posted a link to the article on Facebook and one of my Chicago friends asked me if I still had the jewelry and if I still wore it. She also commented how she always felt weird wearing things previous boyfriends had given her.

I can really only recall wearing the earrings one time since I broke it off (and we broke up quite a long time ago). I can, however, recall several times where I thought about wearing them but I always put them back in my jewelry box. And I have never been able to wear them on a date with another guy.

As I sat and thought about it, I kind of wondered why. I mean, why does it bother me so much to wear them? Especially around another guy. And, if I am not even going to wear them, why do I even bother keeping them?

Now, I have to admit that part of the reason that I don’t wear them is because the style doesn’t really fit me. They are diamonds (not studs but kind of hoop like) and they feel a little too fancy for most things I do. But, even times when the occasion might call for it, I still put them back.

And I think that’s really what makes me curious – the fact that I take them out, think about it for a while, and then put them back.

I could totally understand my reluctance if I still had feelings for the guy or if it was a recent breakup. I could also understand if it was a really special piece of jewelry.  But really, it’s just a little pair of earrings.

Side note: I actually once knew a woman who was divorced and still wore her engagement ring. She wore it on her right hand instead of her left but was very open about it when people asked her where it came from.

All this thinking, has made me curious how other women handle this kind of thing. I know you can pawn it or have it made into some other piece of jewelry. But, I still think I would feel weird about it. I mean, that still kind of makes the story the same – these are the jewels my ex-boyfriend bought me, I just had them melted into something different. And, what do you do when it’s just a random piece of jewelry that can’t be made into anything else?  

So, I decided to do a little poll…

poll by twiigs.com

Jewelry: The thing that always fits

I am a big fan of jewelry. Actually it's really one of my most favorite things to buy when I am purchasing a new outfit to wear. I think it comes from the fact that I have been 5'10 since I was in eighth grade and well, you try finding cute clothes when you are tall and live in a small town. Jewelry can add a little something to almost any outfit and you don't have to worry about what size any of it comes in.

I also believe it's great to have a variety of pieces to wear because you never know what kind of mood you will be in when you put on an outfit. Even if you have a standard piece of jewelry there might come a time when you want to mix it up a little. This is one of the many reasons why I am a big fan of buying jewelry pieces that you really love, even if you can't think of something you own that will match it.

Of course, jewelry makes a fantastic gift which makes my whole babble up there totally fitting for this time of year. If you're like me and still have people to buy for or still need to add a couple of wants to your Christmas list then you should head on over to ice.com. They have an amazing selection of some really amazing jewelry pieces. I saw a couple of gorgeous rings and several pairs of earrings that I am in love with (not that I am trying to hint or anything).

Treat yourself to a little gift. We all know I am a fan of dating yourself and if you date yourself then clearly it could be considered rude if you don't give yourself a little something this season, right?

And you there is no need to feel guilty because right now if you use the code FRNDS at checkout you will receive $20 off plus free shipping through December 31st, 2010. So with that savings you can get yourself something amazing and have a little left over to maybe even get a gift for someone else (because no one wants to be greedy and it's always fun to spread a little cheer).

Holiday gift guide for singles: The new (but not serious) relationship

Dating around the holidays can be complicated, especially when it comes to presents. A few people have recently asked me how to handle that whole gift giving thing when you are in a new relationship. If you have been on more then a few dates but aren't really serious it can be a little hard to gage what is appropriate. As a general rule, gifts should fall into one of these categories: something he can eat (not in the sexual category), something he can do (preferably with you in the near future and once again in the non-sexual category) or a gift with some sort of humor (that is of course tasteful and classy).

Treat Him To A Great Comedy Show

Try bye bye liver which shows Fridays and Saturdays at 8:00pm and 10:00pm. Tickets are $20

Cook Him Dinner

Find out his favorite food or cook him your specialty. Try kraftfoods.com or realsimple.com for great recipes.

How To Be Inappropriate by Daniel Nester

Who can’t laugh at a book dedicated to being inappropriate. Available at urbanoutfitters.com for $14.95. If you don’t like this one, there are plenty of others to choose from.

Bake Cookies or Cupcakes

Seems a little Pollyanna-ish, I know. Have a baking party with friends to spice up the fun. Look at pillsbury.com for great recipes. Technically, you could buy him cookies or cupcakes as well. Check out Swirlz Cupcakes for some of the best in Chicago.

A Mixed CD For His Travels

No, we aren’t talking about the romantic lovey mixed CD here. Keep it old school with a little Salt-n-Peppa or DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. Think anything that will be fun and make him laugh. You can even download songs through iTunes or Rhapsody so he can put them on his Mp3 player.

Find A Fun Cookbook

If he enjoys cooking or baking, find him a fun inexpensive cookbook so he can try out some new techniques. Barnes & Noble or Borders both have plenty to choose from. This one is available for $14.95 at worldmarket.com. If he doesn’t like cooking, try another hobby book.

Offer To Take Him To Dinner

If he generally pays, then offer to take him to dinner. There are tons of great restaurants in the city. Try a place where you can share like Quartino (626 North State Street) Want to find other great places? Try metromix.com or chicago.citysearch.com. 

Slang Pint Glass

If the guy can laugh at words like “douchebag“ or “dickweed“, try this pint glass. Available for $8.00 at urbanoutfitters.com

Funny Vintage T-Shirt

You have to be careful with clothing. Don’t get him a sweater unless you want him to think of you as his Aunt or Grandma. Find plenty to choose from at snorgtees.com, like this one for $18.95.