I realized something the other day – I think I kind of hate statistics about singles.
Let me back up there for a minute. I know quite a few dating gurus and coaches who use them as part of their talks and that’s not something I have an issue with. I mean, that’s really just stating facts. And, when they’re used in an informative way, I find them kind of interesting.
It’s when people use them in the “don’t worry, he’s still out there” kind of way that we have an issue. Like somehow that’s supposed to make me feel better about being single. I mean, let’s be honest here, I know I am not the only single person in the world. Sure, sometimes I feel that I am, but I know that I am not.
Side note: why are people always trying to comfort single people?
We’ve established that I am pretty happy with my single status. But while that is true, I legitimately want (and am ready for) a relationship. So hearing how many single people there are just makes me feel like one tiny little person in all the sea of single people. And that kind of makes me wonder if I will ever meet the one who is right for me.
Let’s be honest here, just because there are single guys doesn’t necessarily mean the “one” for me is right around the corner. It takes more than just being single to be a match for me. Sure, I get that if there are millions of single people your odds are likely to increase. But I still have to find the person I want to be with. The person I love. If a warm body would do, I would have been married years ago.
So in reality, I could have hundreds more dates before I find the one that makes me swoon.
It also makes me think about all the guys I have dated before. And then it makes me wonder how many I actually have let before I have dated them all. Or if I might have to move to another city to get some new blood. Technically I don’t actually think this, but sometimes it feels like it.
I am the kind of gal who likes to make things happen but with dating and finding boyfriends it’s not that easy. There are so many factors that go into it. I mean, I am not trying to make it sound like it’s a big deal here because I legitimately feel that when you find the person that you want to be with it seems easy. But when you’re out there trying to do it, nothing about it seems easy. Sometimes you feel a little lost and like you’re doing it all wrong. So, having someone say “don’t worry there are billions of single guys out there” kind of makes me feel like I am doing a pretty shitty job at this whole finding a boyfriend thing.
So, while I appreciate the gesture people are trying to make, really using the stats to make me somehow feel “better” about my single status really doesn’t do anything but make it worse.