Don't Just Date The Potential
/I am generally the gal who gets it when a guy isn’t into me. That doesn’t mean I like it or that I jump up and down when it happens, it just means I get it. I don’t really sit around wondering what if I had worn this or if we had gone here or what I could have done different that might have made him feel differently. The fact is, life isn’t a romantic comedy so I don’t think someone sees you in a different light and they magically fall madly in love with you. And, I know that not every guy is going to like me.
However, as much as I am able to understand all of this, I have a hard time when there are situational factors that keep us apart (or that make a relationship difficult). And I don’t mean a factor like he has a girlfriend or a wife, I more mean something like distance or an illness. Something that could change or that could get better or be controlled.
It sucks because all you have is this factor. So you are left wondering what would happen if the factor wasn’t there. And, the only thing you can think is, that if the factor wasn’t there, maybe you would be together or you’d at least have one hell of a go at it.
Now, I am fully aware that maybe it’s not actually about this situational factor. Maybe the person just doesn’t want to be with me.
Side note: That’s coincidentally why I hate when people make excuses for why they don’t want to be with someone. It just leaves hope.
But, I also know that sometimes it truly is the situation. And, frankly, that really sucks.
It makes you hold on. You want to try and see if you can hold it together until the factor goes away or gets under control. You want to ride it out because there’s just this one thing standing in your way. And, well, like I said, if you could get past that then you’d be something.
But, I think I’ve come to realize that the situational factor is really no better than someone who’s just not that into you. Ultimately the outcome is the same -- you can’t be together. It doesn’t matter if it’s this weird situation or the lack of interest. Whatever reason, it’s just not going to happen. And I don’t mean to Pollyanna out here, but I truly believe if it’s meant to be, you find a way to work it out.
And, that’s kind of the point. Who really knows if you’d end up together anyway. I mean, you want to believe that you’re perfect for each other but it’s just this one thing keeping you apart. But, really, who knows? Maybe it’s just you holding on to something that you wish would happen.
After all, as a blogger friend pointed out, you can’t date the potential, you have to date the person. And, like it or not, this factor is all a part of who the person is.
However, as much as I am able to understand all of this, I have a hard time when there are situational factors that keep us apart (or that make a relationship difficult). And I don’t mean a factor like he has a girlfriend or a wife, I more mean something like distance or an illness. Something that could change or that could get better or be controlled.
It sucks because all you have is this factor. So you are left wondering what would happen if the factor wasn’t there. And, the only thing you can think is, that if the factor wasn’t there, maybe you would be together or you’d at least have one hell of a go at it.
Now, I am fully aware that maybe it’s not actually about this situational factor. Maybe the person just doesn’t want to be with me.
Side note: That’s coincidentally why I hate when people make excuses for why they don’t want to be with someone. It just leaves hope.
But, I also know that sometimes it truly is the situation. And, frankly, that really sucks.
It makes you hold on. You want to try and see if you can hold it together until the factor goes away or gets under control. You want to ride it out because there’s just this one thing standing in your way. And, well, like I said, if you could get past that then you’d be something.
But, I think I’ve come to realize that the situational factor is really no better than someone who’s just not that into you. Ultimately the outcome is the same -- you can’t be together. It doesn’t matter if it’s this weird situation or the lack of interest. Whatever reason, it’s just not going to happen. And I don’t mean to Pollyanna out here, but I truly believe if it’s meant to be, you find a way to work it out.
And, that’s kind of the point. Who really knows if you’d end up together anyway. I mean, you want to believe that you’re perfect for each other but it’s just this one thing keeping you apart. But, really, who knows? Maybe it’s just you holding on to something that you wish would happen.
After all, as a blogger friend pointed out, you can’t date the potential, you have to date the person. And, like it or not, this factor is all a part of who the person is.
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