I decided to meet a guy from OkCupid for a drink on Friday night. I wasn't really sure about him because he came across as one of those "I'm the man" kind of guys and I tend to not mesh very well with that sort of thing (and they don’t mesh with me). But, like any good online dater, I decided to give it a try. I mean, what harm could one drink do?
The date itself wasn’t bad at all. I figured out an hour or so in that I didn’t feel any physical attraction. It kind of seemed like he thought the same and we were having fun so I didn’t see the sense in suddenly ending the date.
We had a few drinks and he walked me home. After fending off his multiple attempts to kiss me, I realized there was some kind of attraction on his side of things. We went our separate ways but he was actually house sitting a few doors down from me. When I left my place the next morning I ran into him. He told me again how much fun he had with me and asked what I was doing later. I said I wasn’t sure so he said he’d text later.
Honestly, I figured we could maybe hang out again as friends again. Like I said, we seemed to get along and he seemed cool. And, yes, I planned on telling him that I wasn't into anything physical with him.
Later on, he sent me a text and it started one hell of string of texts. I mean, seriously, I still kind of can’t believe the conversation that happened. And, rather than just quoting bits of the conversation, I decided to put the whole thing in this post because, trust me, it’s necessary. I am sorry it's so long but, bits and pieces just wouldn’t do it justice. I promise I didn't alter the conversation at all (except blocking out his number). The blue is me and the yellow is him.
What I taste like. Am I the only one who gets a little grossed out when guys make comments like this? Especially when I've known the guy for less than 24 hours.
Because, you know apparently there is a sign that reads “I fool around with lots of dudes” on my forehead. Thanks, really.
Then, he called me. I didn’t answer.
Yeah, I know, not my finest moment with the comment about being cool. However, I don't think it warranted the following comment. Also, way to be all kinds of poetic and stuff, but it’s kismet. I have no idea what kizmit is.
If you are going to take the time to actually text quotes about something I said, at least get it right. I never said anything about having sex with too many dudes. But maybe he was too busy thinking about how much he wanted to go down on me.
Oh wow. Way to pull out the big guns there. Pretty sure I don’t recall your ass calling me fat when you thought you had a chance. You just happened to save that for after I said I wasn’t interested. Funny how that works when you don’t care at all about being rejected. And, I never said anything about how well I do anything with a guy but thanks for asssuming I am good at it. Really, I am flattered.
Also, chic is a word for being fashionable. Chick is a word for woman.
Ok now this is just too much. I assume those came to me in the opposite order. I also assume some chick was talking about what a stallion he is (but really, who in the world says stuff like that?). So, I had to ask...
So, you are throwing a fat chick a bone. Funny because I thought about sleeping with you just to see what it's like to be with a short dude (he's only 5'5). I guess we have something in common. Amazing. But, I never really said you were desperate and I didn't insult your manhood or abilities. All of this from the dude who doesn't care about rejection. Here's a newsflash, you could be the most amazing person in bed ever but the fact that you are acting like jerk is the thing that makes me not want to have sex with you.
So I am fat and sexy? But I thought you were saying fat was bad. I am so confused. Also, you bought me some drinks at a bar. Sure, it’s nice but let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here. I mean, do nice guys normally call a gal fat (repeatedly) just because she’s not interested?
Really? Mystery solved! Now I know why I am single. But riddle me this. If my attitude is so terrible, why did you ask me out in the first place? Why did you stay out with me for like four hours on a Friday night? And, why would you want to hang out with me again? Yeah, that must be some really horrible attitude there.