I’ve been thinking about something lately. It’s that whole idea that when you meet someone, you’re supposed to be on your best behavior. And, for the most part, I get that. I mean, if you’re that bad when you first meet someone it kind of makes them wonder how much worse you’re going to get. Probably not the best idea, right?
But the problem is that some people take the whole thing too far. Instead of just being the best they can be, they act like someone they aren’t. In some cases they act like the person they think they should be or the person they want to be, but never the less, it’s not who they truly are.
I really have a hard time getting on board with this idea – I say just be who you are.
I know that’s easier said than done and I am not saying you have to play all your cards up front. I mean, there’s a time and a place for sharing all the things about who you are. But there is also a difference between holding back until the time is right and pretending to be someone you are not.
Sometimes, I think it comes from this whole idea of expectations. I think everyone has felt the pressures to be something or someone – some of us more than other. Here’s the thing about expectations though – people don’t necessarily expect you to be a certain way until you tell them you are a certain way.
A lot of people want to know what they are getting into, so, If you say things like: “I’m a neat freak” or “I am only a casual drinker”, that’s what people expect you to be. Then, when you leave the house a mess or you drink like a fish Thursday through Tuesday people get annoyed (or pissed, hurt, what have you).
And, the thing is, it really doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that you aren’t a neat freak or the fact that you drink heavily. It’s more the fact that you totally misrepresented yourself. It’s because you created that image in their mind.
The thing is, we are all humans and we are all different. I will be the first person to admit that I don’t understand why people do some of the things they do. And, sometimes people annoy me because they handle situations differently. However, that’s all a part of interacting with other people. It doesn’t stop me from wanting to know a person just because I might not understand everything they do.
But, when they misrepresent themselves, that’s a whole other thing. It’s really frustrating when you are getting to know a person and you have all these conversations about who they are. And, then you find out most of it was really a bunch of crap.
And, I am not talking about situations where people lie about feelings and things like that. I am just talking about everyday stuff. I also know that people have to show you who they are, I am a firm believer in that. But, then why the need to lie about who you are?
If you’re the kind of person who leaves your wet towel on the floor or who doesn’t clean up the dishes until three days after you’ve used them, just be that person. Don’t say that you always pick up after yourself if you don’t. If you like to drink obsessively don’t say you do it occasionally.
You have to be honest about who you are in every situation -- from dating, to family, to friends. Whoever you are. Whatever you are. No matter how wrong someone might think it is. Don’t try so hard to be someone you are not just to impress someone. The truth is going to come out eventually, so just be who you are.