Jess Downey

Jess Downey is a freelance writer, blogger, and online columnist who lives in Brooklyn, NY. 

Just because everyone else is doing it...

So I am interrupting my 30-day blog challenge for a little story. I don’t want to get backed up and then have tons of stories that I can’t wait to share -- I might publish them all in one day then. Plus, I promised that I would occasionally take some breaks with the old challenge then and I am a gal who likes to keep her word.

Yesterday I wrote a post on my column for about text dating. If you have been with me throughout me years of blogging, you know it’s something I have touched on here and there. And you also know it’s something I find annoying.

Let me just say that I am the worst phone person. I mean, I literally taught my mom how to text just so we could. Though in my defense I didn’t do it so we couldn’t talk on the phone. I actually did it so we could keep in touch more. We work opposite schedules and sometimes I just want to check on her (and she likes to check on me too). The point is, I am the worst phone person ever but I still understand the value in talking on the phone.

Especially with dating. Create

Anyway, I am going off on a tangent here and you can read about how I feel about all of that over on my column.

Now, if you know me you know that most of my columns and blogs are inspired by things that happen to me in real life. This one was no different.

A couple of weeks ago, a guy sent me a message on OkCupid. I sent him one back and then he replied by giving me his number and telling me to text him. I told him if he wanted to text we could just keep sending messages and we could exchange numbers to talk on the phone.

He told me that it’s never been a problem for him in the past and if I was cool then I would just text him. And honestly that kind of sent me over the edge. I mean, not only is the guy being lame but he’s also basically telling me that I should just suck it up because everyone else is fine with it. This is something that I can’t get on board with.

First, I am not buying that no other woman has ever had an issue with giving their number out just to text. Most women I know (and plenty of men) find it just as annoying. Second, are we really going into the thing where you should do it because all the other women do it? I mean, am I the only one that thinks that seems a little skeezy?

I mean, I don’t want to sound like a lunatic here but if I say I don’t do something or don’t want to do something then shouldn’t that be respected? This whole idea of trying to convince someone to do something because everyone else is doing it is wrong and annoying in any situation.

Honestly, it shouldn’t really matter what other women have done. You can’t expect the same thing from every single woman you meet (and I am pretty sure I can write a whole other post on that). So kudos to you and all your other ladies, but frankly I don’t really care.

If you are going to date then put some effort into it. Really.

As for the guy, I just simply told him that I don’t give out me number to text. He responded with “K” and I never heard from him again.

Yeah, that’s a whole lot of effort right there. I don’t expect a guy to jump through hoops for me and I am not a princess but really, is asking a guy to call me really asking that much?