It's really no secret that I meet guys off the internet, therefore it's not all that shocking that I also give one my number from time to time. Honestly, I have to say that I am not overly excited when I give a guy my number only to have him text me in return. Call me crazy, but I think if you ask for my phone number then you should just pick up the phone and actually call me. However, it's not really a total deal breaker so I tend to just let it slide.
Texting with a new guy generally starts out pretty simple with questions about my day or what I am doing that weekend and so on. This is all fine and dandy to me. However, sometimes the personal questions start to slowly creep in and he's all interested in my favorite position and the craziest place I have had sex. Then, the conversation totally takes an even bigger turn and next thing you know he's talking about how horny he is and asking if I would like to help him out. Followed by a very through and explicit description of all the things he wants to do to me. And all I am left thinking is how did this happen? How did we get from talking about going to see my sister to you asking if I'd like to see a picture of your penis?
The really sad thing is that this has happened one more than one occasion so I wonder if there are guys out there that really think this is normal. Even worse, is this why guys ask for my number in the first place? Please don't tell me this is starting to be the new one night stand/booty call kind of situation. Frankly, I find that pretty pathetic.
Honestly, once you are involved in this sort of thing, there is really no good way to get out of it. Generally I try to take the somewhat polite but firm approach to it and simply tell the guy that I am really not all that comfortable having that conversation (yet). Some guys are pretty cool with it and move on to better first conversation topics. But it seems like more than a fair amount of guys are extremely put off by it. Actually, some guys are down right rude about it. And suddenly, I am faced with a guy who is telling me that I am no fun, a prude, and all sorts of other insults based merely on the fact that I don't want to sext.
Really, is this what it has come to?
Honestly, I don't want to make a judgment here or anything because I am not totally sure where this attitude comes from. However, I am pretty sure that it comes from a guy who is annoyed that a woman had the nerve to not want to help get him off. And yes, we are talking about sexting here, not actual sex which sounds a little weird. I mean this is really not the end of the world, right? Side note, I don't ever condone anyone getting mad because they aren't getting sex either.
Here's the thing though and it's really very simple - just because I don't want to sext with you doesn't mean I am boring or that I am a prude. The only thing it really means is that I don't want to sext with you. And calling me a prude is not going to get you any closer to getting what you want, it's really just going to annoy me. So if a woman doesn't want to sext how about you just get over it and stop acting like such a baby?
Now, in case you're wondering why in the world a woman might not want to sext with you, I have so graciously provided a few reasons below. So take a look.
1. I don't really feel all that comfortable sexting with a guy that I have never met in person.
I am not a porn star; I can't just turn it on and off that easily. Call me crazy but whenever there is anything related to nakedness or what we can do naked (really anything related to sex in general), I'd prefer to know if I am actually attracted to the guy. Sure, you might have sent me 42 pictures, but that still doesn't tell me about the level of attraction we will have when we actually meet in person. If I tell you about all the things I want to do and then we meet in person and I don't want to do them, I feel like that kind of makes me all talk. And this lady is not all talk.
2. Maybe I am just not in the mood to sext.
Sometimes when you make your attempt to sext I am at work or busy with friends. I would say that's probably not the best environment to get me all hot and bothered.
3. Sometimes I just don't want to sext and it's as simple as that.
Sexting isn't exactly a private affair. I mean, I know it seems that way since it's on your phone and I am sure that you are definitely the only on that sees it and all. But last time I checked we have never met which means I really don't know you from Adam. Plus, I wasn't aware that I really needed this awesome reason about why I don't want to sext. Shouldn't a woman (or anyone for that matter) have to right to just say thanks but no thanks?
And coincidentally this leads me to a few additional points about that whole prude thing.
1. Sexting or not sexting has nothing to do with my desire to be relationship.
Just because I don't want to sext doesn't mean I need to meet you and be in this intensely romantic relationship (though it should be perfectly fine if I do). It really just means I would like to know if there is some physical attraction and maybe even assure myself that you are actually a real person.
2. Sexting (or not sexting) says nothing about what I will (or won't do) when we are actually having sex.
Who knows what I might be willing to do when (and if) we are horizontal. I could be a porn star in disguise so maybe you should relax a little and stop judging.
3. Just because I don't want to sext with a guy I have never met in person doesn't necessarily mean I don't ever want to sext with a anyone at all.
We've already established the reasons I may not want to sext with you, but most of those have to do with the fact that we have never met. How do you know for certain what I could be up for once we have actually met?