Please allow me to rant...
I am a woman who puts up with things. Sometimes I will openly admit that I put up with too much and people don’t deserve my time (ahem Mr. BST). My belief in the good in people tends to get me into trouble and I allow it to push me to the edge. But the thing is I know men are human. I believe they are human and I know they make mistakes.
People can’t be summed up by just one simple, secluded instance and when you’re getting to know someone they shouldn’t have to be. It’s the overall impression that should count.
The thing is there aren’t just two kinds of men in the world; there is also a whole world in between. And I believe in the world in between.
I think a man might slip and call you a name he shouldn’t because he’s that idiot who’s known for open mouth insert foot. I think a guy might forget to pull the chair out or ask to go dutch on a first date simply because he’s nervous or doesn’t think anything of it. I think a guy might do something or say something that hurts your feelings simply because he had no idea it would. I think sometimes a guy really wants to ask you out but he’s just too afraid so you have to ask him out instead. And he might take you to a dive bar instead of some swanky upscale place.
We all feel differently and think differently about things but that doesn’t necessarily mean someone is a jerk. And, if they have a different idea then just move on and don’t date them.
You should always, and I do mean always, demand that people respect you, but the simple fact is a man can be genuinely good and wonderful but do some stupid stuff sometimes. I also don’t think men know everything about life, dating, or themselves. They are just like me – trying to figure it all out (it’s all a part of that whole being a human thing). And sometimes I think women worry about dumb things and are a little too quick to call a guy a jerk because of one piddly thing. Yeah, I said it.
Maybe I am just frustrated by continually seeing women be so harsh on men about such miniscule things. Maybe it comes from the fact that I know good guys who do stupid things (and then fight like hell to make it better). Maybe it comes from the fact that I think I am part hippie and think we should all just love each other.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter where it comes from. I believe men are human and that’s that. They do stupid things (don’t we all). They don’t know everything (and why should they?). And I think sometimes we base a man’s character on the wrong thing.
The key here isn’t that you should be looking for a guy who doesn’t do anything wrong and who has it all figured out. They key is seeing the difference between a good guy who does some boneheaded stuff sometimes and a guy who is just a flat out jerk.