Jess Downey

Jess Downey is a freelance writer, blogger, and online columnist who lives in Brooklyn, NY. 

Woman calls off wedding and refuses to return the ring

The other day I stumbled on an interesting article on Powder Room Talk which talked about what you should do with the ring when calling off an engagement. The article stemmed from a news story about t a woman, named Colette Dipierro from Staten Island, who refused to return a $17,500 ring to her ex-fiance after calling off the wedding.

The couple was only engaged for four months. At the time that Dipierro accepted the ring she admits to having doubts but felt pressures from society. Apparently her doubts became too much because she called off the wedding and now won't give the ring back. She claims it's because they lived together and he owes money for rent and other living expenses. Though she's been engaged before and upon calling off things off that time, she returned the ring. Pretty interesting, if I do say so myself.

Apparently to get all technical and legal here this whole engagement ring thing is considered a contract. So if you call it off you are supposed to return the ring.

Many people consider the things you were given throughout a relationship to be gifts. Who returns gifts? And yes, there are the occasional things left behind by a significant other that are often never returned. You know movies, clothes and the like.

Here's the thing though, I think an engagement ring is a totally different thing - especially when it cost a whomping $17,500.

Honestly, in my opinion, I think the ring should be returned for a few different reasons.

It's a pretty hefty chunk of change. The man clears out half his life savings to buy you a ring only to have you accept it and then months later call it all off. Now all he is left with is $17,500 that he will never see again. That doesn't seem right to me (especially in a case where you accepted the ring when you weren't completely sure if you actually wanted to marry the guy).

The ring no longer means anything. Sure maybe there's those memories of when you were a happy couple but that is what pictures are for. There is a reason you are ending it, so do you really need a constant reminder anyway?

What purpose does keeping it really serve? Why do you really need to keep the ring? I mean really, are you going to actually wear it? What do you really plan on doing with it? 

Now clearly there are exceptions, like if the guy cheats. Then I guess you can keep it and put it to better use (like pawning it to buy new shoes).